Three months of Mellow

Unusual bag Mansur Gavriel  Famous bags from New York brand Mansur Gavriel — the object of desire for all fashionistas. The unusual design, soft Italian leather, bright palette, as well as limited edition collection is characterized works of designer Gabriela Hurst.:

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

Hello Everyone,
It’s been quite sometime since I blogged- my apologies; however, ‘m back with few details of my life offline. Have I been fine? Hmm…I ‘d say quite okay. A lot have happened since I last blogged- crossing over to a new year without writing, dealing with school issues, coping with stress and not enough sleep 🙂 , but all the same ‘m still happy. I found myself exploring other dimensions of life, appreciating the essence of living, holding on to family, and re-defining friendship. Though things haven’t been so smooth, I always live one day at a time. Thank you for reading 🙂

How have you been these past months?

Feel free to share your experiences in the comment section. I always reply!

Follow me on Instagram @the.nifeminist

Email: thenifeminist@gmail.com

Escaping from the Inevitable: Death

I chose this picture because of the lines. I love how you can see the curve of the ribcage and that it is partially hidden by the girl showing the two sides of a person.:

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Once in a while, I love to take a break from the harshness of life, spoil myself and watch the world still from afar. I enjoy every moment that comes along, and play safe without missing out on the goodies of life. You know why? Because life is too short too stay on hold waiting for tomorrow.

I watched a video, not quite long , in which lots of people, both old and young were involved in a fatal accident, and then I began thinking; what purpose does death serve? How essential is the value of life? Is there anything called tomorrow/ future, how true is life after death?

Unfortunately, I have no answers to any of the above questions. If you do, please kindly share in the comment section. The only thing I have got to say is, I am skeptical about the the word “Future or tomorrow”. Often times, the future is always now. It’s either you do it now, or never. We say to ourselves, when I get to a certain age, I would start this and this, and when we are finally there, life would seem like it didn’t move an inch, and even if it did, something likely gets along the way; the horror of life is death.

Death is a killer of unaccomplished dreams; the one people hope to realize; but what then is the reward for living, and sweating/toiling for tomorrow if  the reward is nothing but a short life, unaccomplished dream, tough life  or a life worthy of not being lived?  Why then do one need to work for tomorrow, when that tomorrow is undefined, unclear, and bleak?

Silent whispers for you today-Lord, let my life be an accomplishment. and breath forth a life worthy of being lived into me.

Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment. I always reply!

Don’t forget to get in touch with me on all social platforms @thenifeminist

Email: thefeminist@gmail.com

 

 

My view on becoming Friendly

New speedpainting on my YouTube the link is in my bio #art #drawing #painting…:

What I want to say to young girls is forget about likability. If you start thinking about being likable you are not going to tell your story honestly because you are going to be so concerned with not offending, and that’s going to ruin your story so forget about likability.- Chimamanda Adichie

I truly apologize for my inconsistency in blogging. Lately, ‘v been stressed out especially with school and stuffs. Worse still lectures haven’t fully started and ‘m already exhausted. So I made some resolutions, and one of which is to become more friendly, or amiable because I get comments like ‘m too formal, I have high expectations for people, too cold and stuffs like that, and so I decided to chill.

Well, here’s my review on becoming friendly. Firstly, I don’t think I like it; secondly, it leaves one vulnerable to lots of odd and annoying attitudes or behaviors that you either have to condone or reject which could cause an unhealthy annoyance. Though it can get one a couple of familiar faces, I actually think keeping a small circle is the best. That way, life doesn’t get too complicated and you finally have little or no unwarranted attitudes to deal with or even have to be okay with what you aren’t okay with.

Question: What kind of friends do you keep?

Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment. I always reply!

Don’t forget to get in touch with me on all social platforms @thenifeminist

Email: thefeminist@gmail.com

How do you get over the loss of a loved one?

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“Whoever said that loss gets easier with time was a liar. Here’s what really happens: the space between the times you miss them grow longer. Then when you remember to miss them again, it’s still with a stabbing pain to the heart. And you have guilt. Guilt because it’s been too long since you missed them last”-Kristin O’ Donnel Tubb

The annoying truth about death is that it comes unannounced with a broken wound. I often say this; those who are damaged by death are not the dead themselves, but the living. The ones left behind to grieve, regret and undergo change.

Over time, I have realised that most people don’t completely get over loss, and the process of getting over loss is- one day at a time. I have a friend who lost his dad ten years ago, and up till now he still writes about his father and describes his setback like it all happened yesterday. I asked why- it was the best way he could come to terms with his sanity. To understand that moving on doesn’t necessarily mean letting go.

People process grief differently and I‘d like to briefly share “THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF” by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. It’s a collation of five common experiences for the bereaved that can occur in any order, if at all.

  1. Denial– the process of disconnecting with reality often accompanied with shock and disbelieve.
  2. Anger– after denial, pain evolves with frustration. Individual responses could be: “Why me?”, “Who is to blame?” It’s not fair”
  3. Bargaining– it involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief.
  4. Depression– in this fourth stage, there’s withdrawal from various activities, friends, family, and life itself. The mourning process begins.
  5. Acceptance: it’s going to be okay! ‘M at peace with what happened. The individual embraces the inevitable or mortality future or that of a loved one or other tragic events.

I don’t know what you are going through or have gone through, but here’s a list I made about coping with grief from personal experience.

“Death ends a life, not a relationship”- Mitch Albom

  1. Don’t try to forget them; it only complicates the situation. Rather, undergo the acceptance stage and embrace their departure. Once in a while try to remember them because as years go by, they faintly disappear with time. One may begin to lose touch with the image of their faces and probably other little things.
  2. Talk about them- about all your experiences with them when they were alive with family and friends.
  3. Cry- you are allowed!!! Pray!! and Live one day at a time
  4. Build relationships, Find a hobby and Develop yourself
  5. Create your own happiness and Embrace pain- find strength in it and you would become stronger.
  6. Overcome the thought of death.

Question– how have you struggled to get over the loss of a loved one?

Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment. I always reply!

Don’t forget to get in touch with me on all social platforms @thenifeminist

Email: thefeminist@gmail.com

What happens when a Pastor maltreats his Wife?

violence

“The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it”- Roseanne Barr

While growing up, I used to think marrying a pastor was the best way to have a good man. I was wrong!!! You only marry a good man when you’ve found the right one; irrespective of his occupation. Often times, I still wonder why I thought marrying a pastor was the perfect idea; I think it’s because of the prospect attached to the title “Pastor”. The expectation that he should be close to perfect; would treat a woman right and exercise the virtue of patience in bringing up a family. Don’t get me wrong, but there are pastors and there are pastors!!!

Everyday, the values in the society keep depreciating, you know why? -Because some of our role models have gone rogue. Isn’t it ironical that the same set of people, who counsels one on how to keep their homes, oversee the character of a woman, satisfy a husband and build a family are the same ones who are monsters behind the mask.

“The trouble with women is that they get all excited about nothing- and then marry him” – Cher

I find it absurd whenever I hear life experiences in which some men of God batter up their wives and even their children. You see a loving man every Sunday smiling at you and within you, you say, “Yes this pastor is a good man”, what a man? He is a father, son and friend to most of his congregations’ wives. Everywoman looks at his beautiful wife who is always beside him, sometimes holding his hands and they stylishly adore and envy her. They even call her mummy. Little did they know that daddy and mummy are like cat and rat at home.

I know of women who have landed in the hospital because their husbands who are pastors have used objects to beat them and even threatened to kill and bury them. Sad right? The worst part is, until some of these pastors are detained by the police with dead alive wife in the hospital, the world would never know what callous creature he is. Sad part! The world is still blind and do not hesitate in saying “ Perhaps she pushed him too far, you know…women can be very demanding, needy and annoying…that’s why he would have been frustrated to beat her up” seriously?

I watched a video of recent in which a man of God kept complaining that he had been having issues with his wife because of her anger issues. Aside from that, she wore a lot of beautifying things which he didn’t like and which he always told her to stop wearing. He painted himself as the victim. It wasn’t until the wife was interviewed that one could see the bruises on her face. She was almost in tears when she began to talk about how he beats her up and refuses everything she does just because he is the man. When asked if they still loved each other, the woman said yes, and the man said “She’s my wife”. What a Marriage!!!

If you are reading this today, irrespective of your gender, race, occupation…start treating people with love.

Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment. I always reply!

Don’t forget to get in touch with me on all social platforms @thenifeminist

Email: thefeminist@gmail.com

Aurora in the Pink

In honour of strong women- I decided to reblog “Aurora in the Pink” because October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!! Please share love around the world.

 

The Nifeminist Blog

A porcelain tribute to breast cancer fighters and the choices they face. In the growing awareness of Breast Cancer, a disease which appears to be the inevitable side-effect of womanhood (though males can also develop it, but a lot less frequently), this doll was my attempt at working through my own personal fear of it, and facing up to the possibility that one day I could be amongst hundreds of thousands of women who develop it. I can only hope to be brave, like so many other wo:

  • Artwork: Enchanted dolls by Marina Bychkova
If you have a friend or family member with breast cancer, try not to look at her with ‘sad eyes’. Treat her like you always did; just show a little extra love—Hoda Kotb

The time is half past three in the afternoon, but the day is blurry dark like six in the evening. It’s a Wednesday, and the milieu is gloomy-an endless shower of silver rain was finally departing to the sky. ‘M sitting at the back of a car looking through the window, taking notice of the moon that has been following me, I really hope the moon is mother taking this beautiful shape to watch me from above every second from now.

‘M lost in thought on what next to do, the world is a lonely place with many hidden prickles. What’s left for a girl like me? An only child…

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